2016年2月13日 星期六

Will I ever be happy again?


So it comes... Well, coming.

The purpose of this blog will come to a stop. I no longer need it.


I told Mister all these feelings I have and how much they have been upsetting me. Ironic that we rarely speak on the phone but when we do, we are talking about how to end this. We will make a decision when I see him a week later.

I have been crying all day since yesterday. Eyes puffed like a fish, I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Meanwhile I have to finish all the props making for our society, but it's actually quite healing to just focus on painting and listening to sad music, and cry for more.

This time is real. I'm too old to threaten Mister with breakup to ask for attention. I mean it this time.

The thought has lingered around so long, that I was waiting till I was ready for breaking it up. But then I realised there won't be such a day coming. I will never be ready for this.

And my decision?

It's 70% of leaving and 30% of staying. For once, I really put myself back into a right situation. I've always been busy keeping everyone happy, whilst I was extremely unhappy. I've got to do this for myself.