It feels good.

It feels like we are doing all these things that I had once imagined doing with Mister, but just that I don't feel sad about the fact that it's not Mister but someone else. I guess I am now in the phase that I just don't love any of them. I purely just follow the flow, and let it lead me to wherever, even if it's a dangerous.

But I don't care, I really don't care anymore.

Love was never fair. It doesn't matter who are you, how good you are or how monstrous you behave. There is no guarantee for anything.

 At the same time, I guess I just don't believe me and Doctor would last. He seems unreal to me.

Call me a selfish bitch, whatever.

As long as you are happy.

我覺得自已一直都很盲目。因為愛所以相信自已可以妥協。
這可能是我這輩子做過最壞的事了，但是我想自私一次。就算他們都離開我，也沒有辦法。
坦白說，我覺得這一切都很不真實，Doctor是一個很特別的人，不是說誰比誰好，只是他的存在的確讓我感覺到我是活著的。但同時間，若果沒有mister我跟doctor也是不可能的。

我並不想欺騙誰。

假如時間可以永遠停留在這刻有多好。